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How to Take Back Control and Focus Your Energy on the Important Things

Too often, when things don't go our way, we tend to focus and dwell on what went wrong, and many times these are things we cannot control.

From simple things such as getting angry or upset at the weather for ruining a beautiful day out to more complicated things such as an economic downturn affecting our sales, there isn't much use in blaming, hating and holding on to the causes which are out of our control.

What if instead you could refocus your energy on the things you can control or at least influence?

The image below helps understanding what I'm on about:

Themes in our life can be put into these 3 buckets, based on how much control we have over these (and their outcome).

We have things we can control, such as our actions, behaviours and mindset, but very importantly we can control the way we react to things that happen. This group of things can get overlooked, as we give power away to other people or are not aware how much power we really have!

The second oval groups things we can influence, but not control entirely. Things such as our health, energy levels, daily schedule or plans, other people's behaviour, etc.

And finally, the oval of the things we have to accept, since we have zero control over them happening, think, gravity, weather, economic cycles, passing of time, etc. The less time you spend focusing on the things in this group, the happier you will be!

If you want to learn how to apply this to you life, here's an exercise for you:

  1. Fill in each of the ovals with your main life topics, be specific about what you mean and don't think too hard about in which of the 3 ovals they belong, first response is enough for now.

  2. After you filled the 3 ovals, review your list in each, and starting from the outside with 'Accept' first, confirm whether that topic really belongs into that oval, or if you have at least some degree of control or influence over it. Be honest and question your arguments over and over, until you are 100% certain that you have no control over that situation. Only then does it belong into the "Accept" oval.

  3. Repeat for the "Influence" oval, question your assumptions for each topic here too!

  4. Move items around until you are happy with how it "feels" to you.

How does looking at your chart make you feel? I bet more empowered! You now have clarity over what you can control and influence, and this is where your energy and productive time is best spent. And knowing which things you have to accept is liberating, no more wasted time on wishing you could do something about this.

Is the lack of control in your life stressing you out? I can help you regain clarity, a sense of control and focus on the important things in your life and business. Book a free call now to see how I can help!

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